The Ides of March are upon us… and so far mine has
started off in the worst way possible. I’ve
always been a huge fan of irony; however, today just seems to be karmic
retribution for something I am totally unaware of. When I lost updated y’all my
car had broken down the night before I needed to get my girlfriend Angie
Kinderman to the airport. Today I learned that my engine is totally dead. This
is what I get for not regularly filling it with oil. On top of that I’m dead
broke. I literally have $0 to my name. And the kicker? My computer will not
start up. Therefore, I am stuck in the library at the University of Oregon in
order to work on this post. I suppose the irony is lost on most; that is, until
you take a look at what hat I’m wearing.
Of all the days to roll with the Cleveland Indians,
I had to choose today. And not just any Indians hat, the 1986-2002 home/game
style one. More importantly, the “Major League” hat. This is pretty much where
the irony comes into play. A bunch of rag-tag misfits are assembled on the
basis that they will be so terrible that their owner, Rachel Phelps (played by
Margaret Whitton), can break the lease on the stadium and move the team to
Miami. I won’t bore you with the rest of the details of the film as I’m pretty
sure you’ve all seen it if you’re reading this. In a nut shell though, that’s
how my life feels right now. All of these terrible things are building up in an
effort to make me fail, much like the Oakland Athletics of last season. I
realize that things WILL get better; however, it’s human instinct to think that
the world is out to get you when things start to go sour. The only thing you can
do, like in baseball, is to do your damnedest to win one day at a time.
One thing that I should point out is that it was
incredibly difficult to find this hat anywhere outside of Ohio. Believe me, I
searched everywhere I could on the internet and in shops along the West Coast.
A few years after the Indians elected to shrink the size of the logo the only
time I ever saw a hat with the larger size logo came in the form of custom
style caps; something I am not a particular fan of. One afternoon in October I
found myself scoping around on Ebay and ran across this bad boy from a dealer
in Cleveland. I let out the biggest Tobias Fünke “Hazah!!!” I could muster. The
only problem is that the hat, including shipping, cost $43 at a “Buy it now”
price. Seriously!? Aren’t things on Ebay supposed to cost less? I got up and
went to Max’s Tavern to mull over my dilemma with a beer. After giving it some
careful thought I decided to crush three more beers. With a slight buzz brewing,
I stumbled back to my apartment and made my purchase. Grand total: $56 for the
hat and four beers including tip ($2 PBRs).
When it arrived I made sure the damn thing fit me.
Luckily it was “like a glove” status. Shortly after, I dropped my marks.
#7- I could have gone with real players. #28 should
have been a lock as Cory Snyder was one of my favorite players growing up; but
that will wait for another post. This hat will forever be iconic to the film “Major
League” and I had to treat it as so because, unlike the actual team, the 1989 “Major
League” team will never change. They always beat the New York Yankees at the
end, and Bob Uecker’s “The Indians win it!!! Oh my God the Indians win it” will
always give you chills. So with that, Jake Taylor, the captain and half of the
battery, had to be the first mark. And why not? He got the girl (Rene Russo) in
the end, he hit the game-winning bunt and he was clearly the inspiration for
future Indians star Kenny Lofton (jersey number wise)… or so I assume. Jake was the broken down veteran representation
that well looked up to in our favorite player going into the twilight of their
careers. He knew he was broken down, but he loved to play. He rallied the
troops and everyone respected his leadership; the kind of rebel-rousing that
only Tom Berenger can portray… at least when he’s not armed with a sniper rifle
in the jungle with Billy Zane on his six.
#99- I’ve always been a huge punk rock fan, and one
of my favorite bands of all-time is the Los Angeles-based surf punk group X.
Most people I talk to about this band have no idea who I’m talking about, but
in all of those cases about 75-80% of them have seen “Major League.” That’s
when I say, “You know the band that plays “Wild Thing” when Charlie Sheen comes
out of the pen at the end of the game? That’s X.” The original version was
written and sung by The Troggs back in 1966; however, there’s something about X’s
version that kicks you in the nuts (in a good way). Go back and listen to it or
watch it and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Here… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFrl4U4eIJU
Charlie Sheen did a damn fine job playing Ricky “Wild
Thing” Vaughn. The hair, the attitude, the arm and especially the glasses
brought the character to life. So much that fans across baseball try to mimic
and pay tribute to it. But not me. I’m too good for that…
Ok, maybe not. It’s just too awesome. Especially when hanging out with long time Indians fan Judy Jones (@jjstatsgirl)
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